


HARD TO BREATHE

by cleveradjective



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Humanstuck -AU, Post-Game AU, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Sadstuck, bc space players are cool i guess, pretty much au where only space players remember the game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-06
Updated: 2014-10-06
Packaged: 2018-02-20 03:08:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2412710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cleveradjective/pseuds/cleveradjective
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Rose Lalonde, and you are finding it difficult to breathe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	HARD TO BREATHE

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY, NOW EDITED. I hope that you like!! vuv

Today, you feel like your chest is clogged.

It has started off as usual, with the hum of traffic and the buzz of people - it is normal New York. Normal life. You are calm, your serene expression ever-present. You're simply sitting at home, the third story of an apartment building, because you moved away from your mother years ago. You sip on some tea while reading a book from your new favorite author, and everything is as normal as it has ever been.

And normal is how you live, at the age of twenty-six. You live in your apartment, and you go to college. You even work at a coffee shop in town. You have a few friends, but none of them all that close. You are fine with this, though, because you are satisfied with almost everything. You are satisfied with your income, your home life, and your appearance. You are happy with your social circle, your career, and your choices. You are a satisfied person, and that is what everyone knows you as.

But you feel so empty.

It's been this way since you were an early teen, you recall. It wasn't like anything had really happened- you had woken up one day, and you were no longer happy with anything. You have grown quiet over the years, more contemplative and questioning. You have become more tired as well, but most people don't really know that.

No one really knows about your emptiness. You really prefer is that way, in all honesty. You do see the pitying looks people give you, though. When they think you've not looking, they shoot you some sad looks, as if to say sorry. You wonder if it's painted where you'll never see it, but where everyone else can. Printing that just says:

I AM BROKEN, AND I DO NOT KNOW WHY.

You wonder if there's a shadow following you everywhere, blind to you and you alone. Plainly there to everyone else, so obvious, but you are blind. If you're haunted, as if you're actually dead. As if this is all a dream, and your subconscious is taking pity on you. You wonder if that's true.

One the day it all began, you felt so different. As if you were somehow separated from everyone else, by ways that you've long forgotten, as if you know something more, but you can't recall. It's all hazy and mushed, and memories that you do get are so confusing and strange that you pass them off as dreams instead. You're never quite sure, though. You're never sure of anything anymore, because your thoughts get jumbled into one big mess whenever you try to think about it, and your head begins to hurt. You don't like that feeling, so you try to forget.

It isn't easy to forget. You're awake for nights on end, trying to remember. You write down what comes to you, before throwing it away. It isn't easy to remember, because your throat begins to squeeze every time, and you always cry. It isn't easy to forgive yourself for not remembering, either, because you're always blaming yourself. You know that's it's irrational, and that it isn't your fault if you can't remember a stupid thing that made you break.

(It isn't stupid. It's important, and you hate that you can't remember).

You are constantly plagued by this, until the today. A girl has shown up on your doorstep, saying that it took such a long to find you, and that her name is Kanaya Maryam. She says that it's been so long since you've seen each other, and that if you don't remember her, then that would be alright. She says that she would simply leave, and that she would never bother you again.

You remember her, though, and everything comes crashing back to you.

Your name is Rose Lalonde. It is getting very hard to breathe, but you pull Kanaya into a deep kiss anyways, because you now know what happened. You know why you felt so broken all those years, and you know that what was missing was her. 

**Author's Note:**

> SHORT AND SWEET  
> YEAH BOI  
> if you liked, please kudos and comment!!  
> comments really just make my day uvu


End file.
